This morning, Chad was reading Roger Ebert's latest journal entry, "Blackie come home". When he came to a comment from a reader, Chad broke out into a laughter. He was laughing even as he read out loud to me. He laughed so hard, tears were streaming down his cheeks. It was infectious and started me laughing too. Soon, I had tears in my eyes. Thank-you, mirror neurons! It then became too much for Chad. He had stop. He'll continue reading as soon as he has had a chance to catch his breath.Here's the excerpt of what Chad was reading that tickled us so.
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at theirfeet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
Chad was laughing so hard that he did not even make it past the first paragraph of the Cat' Diary. Thanks for sharing the laughter, Chad!
3 comments:
O.K. That list of the CAT is too funny for words. Ebert must have incredible sense of intuitive knowledge to
be able to put down all these behaviors and turn them into a consipracy done by cats. I really laughed myself
Mom
I agree with you. That Dog Diary vs. Cat Diary is really hilarious and written by someone who really knows cats.
In his latest journal entry, Blackie come home, Ebert remininces about a dog in his childhood named Blackie. He writes about having "an empty space inside himself that can only be filled by a dog."
He also feels cats are like "someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with companionship."
In response to Ebert's writing, a reader and a cat lover, entered a comment which quoted that Dog Diary vs. Cat Diary. It seems to be the shorter version of the original, whose author remains unknown.
-Karen
Hey, thanks for hooking me up with a link to my blog!
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